This is something I wrote a couple months ago, but I've realized that it's still true and I need to remember it.

As I've grown up I've learned that I have learned much through mistakes, happiness and friendship that there is a reason for everything in my life.

I have made some mighty big mistakes in my life. But I know that through these mistakes I've grown. I've learned about love, life, and general happiness. I wouldn't change a thing about my life. I am who I am for whatever reasons. God has chosen me to live this life for reasons unknown to me. Regardless of what His reasons are, I am thankful. He has given me the chance to learn. To grow. And most importantly to live.

As I've grown up I've had friends. I've lost friends; either through the growing and separating of people, and through death. Every person in my life though has somehow shaped me. Some will say that I'm not a very "noticeable" person. And I'm okay with that. The people that I need in my life are here. Or have been here. And the people that I need in the future, will be there. I visited an old friend recently, and I realized that even though we don't talk nearly enough, or really see each that much. She is as important NOW as she was when we were a little younger. I've learned much from her. I don't think that she knows that, but I am so grateful to have had her be a part of my life. She's shown me great strength and great knowledge. And even though we are the same age, I totally look up to her. She knows what she wants to do when she finishes with school; whereas I'm as lost as I was when we were in High School. I don't really have any goals set in life, and oddly I'm okay with that. I know what I like to do and I know kinda what I want to do. But she's very motivated and I'm not. Watching her and hearing from her has inspired me to really look at my life this summer. Figure things out and really work on setting goals.

Another friend of mine, has truly inspired me. She knows exactly what she wants. And is going full speed ahead at achieving her goals. She's leaving soon for Cali and I don't know what I am going to do with out her. She's my movie buddy. She's my venting listener. She's one of the only people who can make me smile and laugh when all I want to do is sit and cry. She's my biggest fan. Whenever I write something (I think I want to write, for those of you just tuning in) she is all gung ho about reading it. Giving me negative and positive feedback. She is an amazing person. When she leaves here I hope that I can still channel her through whatever forces. I hope that we can still be like we are now. If and when I do figure out what I want to do, she will be one of the first people that I tell about it. She will be there for me 100%. I love her, she's like my 5th sister that I can tell anything to. she doesn't think about what I do, or judge me. She just listens till I don't have anything left to say. Maybe, I'll move to Cali too, and go to school there sometime. Maybe, I'll publish something...she'd be the first in line for the book. And as soon as she read it she'd call me and tell me how awesome I am. Or at least I dream that happens. She keeps me grounded. And sane.

I'm not really sure why I felt the need to blog tonight, but for some reason I did. And now that I've started I'm having a hard time stopping. I dont' know what I want in life. All I can hope for is that I don't just sit in the background and let things happen. That I live life like it is meant to be lived: TO THE FULLEST.

I don't know if anyone reads these things, but if you do happen to stumble upon this...remember your friends. Love them, and tell them you love them. They may be gone one day never to be heard from again. Or maybe they just got tired of your personal shit and gave up the friendship. Whatever the reason, let them know that you love them and think about them. Sometimes letting the other person know that you love them helps them more than you realize.